funny quotes

"Shut up voices or I'll poke you with a fork."

Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then laugh while people try to figure out what the hell you did.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask directions.

I hate it when the voices and my imaginary friends fight.

Have you seen my mind? I seem to have lost it.

Lying is the most fun a girl can have without owning a flamethrower. However, I own a flamethrower, and therefore, life holds more fun for me then just lying!

I'm not clumsy... The floor just hates me.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door...

Someday we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet cool people... Then kill them...

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

Heaven doesn't want me and hell is afraid I'll take over.

Join the dark side- we have cookies!!


yh just so you know i DONT have voices in my head

...voices "that's it lye to them ...my pretty"